Monday, September 13, 2010


What does this have to do with chronic pain and RSD?  A lot if you have a spouse or partner of any kind.

I have been blessed with a very understanding man.  He loves me very much.  He works hard at his job, loves his family and gets along well with mine (which is great considering we live with my mother).
He is my best friend.  But adapting to RSD has been challenging for both of us.  I say both of us, because we both have had to change our outlook on our lives together as partners.  For instance, we always planned on having more children... and now, it is something we really are reconsidering.

But these are just some of the general things one thinks about when it comes to there relationship.

I have found one of the hardest things is physical contact.  Holding hands, snuggling on the couch.  Even who sleeps where on the bed takes extra thought.  He will go to grab my hand on a bad 'flare up' day, and it hurts so bad, I start to cry.  He quickly apologizes, and I know he didn't mean to hurt me.  The guilt sets in.
Last night was a fine example of how this syndrome can truly effect us.  I was having a bad flare up, and having a hard time falling asleep.  He hit the pillow and fell into deep slumber.  I laid there for over two overs, as par for the course now, and was finally drifting off, when he rolled over and slammed into my bad leg twice, and then brought his knee up into my side.  I was wrecked with pain.

Wide awake I ventured off to find another place to sleep.  I finally settle into the futon downstairs.  A half hour later, I got some sleep.  He never knew that he had hit me, he was sleeping. When I told him what happened, he felt terrible, and so did I.  I know he did not intentionally try to hurt me.

I have also found that this has taken a terrible toll on or sex lives.  It seems he is never in the mood when I am feeling good.  When he is, my body is so sore, and worn out, I couldn't do anything no matter how much I wanted too.  It also doesn't help that the majority of medications I am on can extremely lower any ones sex drive.

But we have found compromise in our life.  We talk more now than we ever did.  If I am feeling good, we at least snuggle on the couch.  He is still my best friend.  He has made a effort to do more around the house, and help out. He makes sure I don't forget to eat, and have snacks.

I think the biggest 'problem' is I feel guilty.  Guilt will do terrible things to your mind if you let it.  Make sure to keep an open line of communication between you and your partner, and keep them updated on all of your Doctor appointments, even have them come with you.  It makes a big difference.  Let them know that you hurt, and that it is not 'their fault'.  If they want to help, find ways.  Mine loves to rub the knots out of my shoulders, and it is a great way for us to spend time together.  Even if it involves RSD.

No comments:

Post a Comment