Friday, January 14, 2011

It takes a lot.

I've been to Boston and back.  The neurologist treated me like I was wasting his time.  And I was disappointed, to say the least.  I think that was the point where I became emotionally numb.  I've had no other choice.  At the rate I had been going, and with the holidays, I was going to emotionally burn myself out.
I have since been through a sleep study, been told my liver is starting to dysfunction, and had continued dental and inner ear problems on my left side.

No new answers. No new news.  I normally would be frustrated and depressed.  But, I have focused my energy in more productive ways.  I have too.  I have my son.

I am a volunteer on the art community-  That helps a lot.  I get to talk to people and help people out.  Something I am not capable of physically doing at home, or even with friends.  Some are just as 'drained' of my health problems, and I can understand that.  It is nice to take a 'break', and feel normal for just a little while.

Art in general, is great therapy for the physical and emotional pain.  I get to step away for a period of time, and work on something that either reflects my hopes and dreams, or lets me release my deepest thoughts and feelings.  It's a period of meditation.

I'm going to have to kick it back in to high gear again.  Not know why I hurt, the drain it is taking on my physical and emotional health, is having its affects on not only me, but the ones I love.
Eventually something will need to be done.

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